The Positive Pensive

An anxious pessimist tries to find the positive
A christmas gift wrapped
Personal Seasonal

5 impossible things I’d like for Christmas

There’s the old (90s) adage that ‘The best things in life are free’. Well, I’m also of the opinion that not only are the best things in life free – most of the things I’d like physically cannot be bought.

Christmas is around the corner and presents are mounting under the tree (many more are still waiting to be wrapped). Still, as much as tearing into pristine, shiny paper and discovering lovely gifts is a joyful experience, this year I’m feeling a little more thoughtful. The things that would make me happiest and exponentially improve my life are simply impossible to buy.

And so, while I’m feeling wistful, here are the things I wish could be popped under the tree and magically realised.

1. A cul-de-sac of my longest-serving friends

Ah, yes. Many a time we’ve joked about growing old together and having cottages next door to one another. A cup of tea here, a game of cards there.

Only, I’d actually really like this now. Of course, even if I had a lot of money to buy each of the houses surrounding me and open them up to my friends, I’m fairly certain many of them have a fondness for their own lifestyles. Bournemouth, its residents and traffic, is not for the faint of heart. The beach is pretty nice though.

Essentially, I wish seeing some of the people who know me best in the world didn’t take weeks of meticulous planning. Adulthood ain’t easy.

2. A lifestyle that would allow me a dog

I cannot even tell you how much I want a dog. The feeling of seeing your pupper after a bad day and they wag their tail and they don’t realise that sometimes you’re a shitty person, they just think you’re AMAZING.

Of course, I could buy a dog. That’s not the issue. It’s the fact I work the standard office hours, live in a modest-sized house and often don’t know what my weekends will entail. If/when I have a dog, I want to ensure I can give it the greatest, happiest life possible (oh my god I’m actually getting emotional).

So while I can’t have a dog (for now), if Santa could just place a voucher of ‘1 GUARANTEE OF PETTING A DOG PER DAY’ under the tree, I’d be okay with that in the interim.

3. A more positive attitude

I firmly believe I’m predisposed to negative thinking. In literally any scenario where I could look at something positively, I am the opposite.

I’ll probably embarrass myself in that meeting.

The house renovation probably won’t be done by Christmas (still plenty of time).

That delivery is late and now everything is ruined.

There’s a reason I called this blog The Positive Pensive. My tendency is to lean towards the pensive – whacking that optimistic ‘Positive’ in there forces me away from the temptation to rant with no resolution. We all feel down every now and then, and we need to give ourselves that time, but ruminating and dwelling on things is simply not good for our health.

Still, I often wish that battling my own negativity wasn’t quite so difficult. Of course, it’s doable – but it cannot be bought, and it is bloody hard sometimes. I’m working on it.

4. The ability to lie in

I cannot be the only person that hit roughly 23 years old and then suddenly found lying in past 9.30am an impossible feat?

The absolute kicker here is that getting up for work every morning is still a feat that requires tremendous determination (and often a pep talk). Why is it that 7.30am on a Tuesday is ungodly, but 7.45am on a Saturday is JUST FINE?

Santa, for Christmas I would like a very long sleep (or 365). Preferably somewhere around 10 hours. Thanks babe.

5. Patience

I can 100% understand why it’s a virtue. For me, practising patience is the ultimate in mental gymnastics.

I hate it when waiting staff forget about us in a restaurant and it takes twenty minutes to get the bill.

I hate the helplessness of joining a long queue of traffic.

And when a parcel is still ‘processing’ several days after it was meant to be delivered? Let’s not even go down that road.

And yet, I know entering full-on rage mode for such minor things – that are often out of my control – does no good. It doesn’t solve the situations and it only serves to elevate an already negative experience.

I’m getting better, but if someone could give me the gift of a marginally longer ‘fuse’, that might save me having to do quite so many deep breathing exercises and ‘happy place’ thoughts.

It isn’t always a season to be jolly

I sometimes find Christmas quite difficult. Families and circumstances change, there’s pressure for perfection, and by the 27th I’m left feeling the whole thing is a bit of an anti-climax.

Still, while there might always be impossible things we long to change or have, it’s important to take stock of the things we do have that money cannot buy.

I get to share a wonderful little home with my boyfriend – and while doing it up is an absolute pain in the arse, it’s a luxury I’ve pined after for a long time. My friends are supportive even despite the distance between us. My mum will answer the phone at whatever hour I need her (if she’s not already on the damn thing to someone else).

And who knows, one day I might get the doggo of my dreams.

Wishing you all the best Christmas possible – whatever yours looks like.

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