The Positive Pensive

An anxious pessimist tries to find the positive
Hello in moulding clay
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Back to getting pensive

Hello, you may have noticed I’ve not updated the Positive Pensive in a while. Read as I attempt to explain why.Truthfully, I got a little bit overwhelmed. There are many great people writing great content in the great mental health sphere of blogs. In fact, there are THOUSANDS. They tweet like twenty times a day (and still seem likeable, somehow). They have picture-perfect Instagram accounts accompanying their blog. All of the photos on their site are their own.

They are all much, much better at this than I am.

My site’s favicon was designed in Paint. I found the font for the ‘logo’ on FontAwesome after hours of searching and finally deciding ‘YEP, this will do’.

Because I just wanted to get on with the fun bit: writing.

And after just over a year of writing more or less every week with little in the way of ‘results’ (I’m a digital professional IRL and getting results is ingrained into you. It’s VERY IMPORTANT). I essentially put this site down to being another one of my creative endeavours that failed.

That is, my blogging EMPIRE did not ‘take off’ after a year and it was gloomy. And it was January. And at some stage or another I thought ‘Let’s give it a rest for a while’.

Why must Google insist on lying to me?

A while turned into about eight months. And here we are. I popped back into my little CMS about two months ago and was astounded to find that some people are still reading. There are about 50 posts on The Positive Pensive, and it turns out some of them rank on Google. Despite zero promotion on my personal Instagram account but for a bio link, 5 people clicked on it in the last 30 days.

That’s not a lot, of course. But it is something. I can’t work out if Google Analytics is lying to me or I’m a major pessimist (quite likely both), but supposedly this site has been visited over 2,000 times since I started it a year and a half ago. I haven’t written any new content in eight months.

Even if half of those visits are people trying to sell me SEO services (stahp), that’s still 1,000 people.

So in short, I can’t trust my analytics to tell me the truth. But even if it was telling a bit of the truth, it’s no reason to despair.

Why start again?

There will always be someone who just seems to be better than you. More followers. Better content. Engaging visuals. More focus.

Even so, when I decided to adopt the ‘Oh well, why bother then?’ attitude, I consciously gave up an outlet that allowed me creative space to comment on something that’s important to me.

This blog, however small, starts conversations.

‘I read your blog the other day and related so much!’

‘I love reading your posts, I thought it was just me’

Because I put myself out there and said I worried about my own teeth so much it was to my actual detriment, someone felt okay saying they experienced something similar. Because I mentioned I had to take time off work due to stress, someone felt okay approaching me and saying they did too – and how that made them feel.

Now, I’m no mental health professional. But if someone struggling just felt a little more okay about reaching out and discussing something uncomfortable for them with me, that’s really amazing.

We all feel inadequate sometimes. No, this blog doesn’t always represent my best writing. Yes, the pictures are all free stock images. Of course I don’t have a legions of people following me. But that’s okay. I’d probably get anxiety about it anyway.

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